Even Paranoids Have Real Enemies

By Alan Caruba

The little-known American poet, Delmore Schwartz, is remembered best for having once said, “Even paranoids have real enemies.” The year ahead, 2010, is going to be a harvest of fears for those as paranoid as myself.

Happily, I stopped worrying about “global warming” years ago, having figured out what lots of people have recently discovered; the whole thing was based on rigged computer models, including NASA’s.

Like an increasing number of Americans, however, I cannot help wondering what fresh new horror Barrack Hussein Obama has in mind for us. No doubt he will spring some great plan during his first State of the Union speech. Perhaps to stimulate the economy, he will initiate the building of “re-education camps” around the nation where people who have the temerity of disagreeing with him will learn to love the Great Leader.

I know he’s a Great Leader because he modestly gave himself a B+ for his first year in office and because the government tells me that unemployment is “only” ten percent when all my friends and others keep telling me its closer to seventeen percent. Would Barrack Hussein Obama lie to me?

Indeed, 2009 was distinguished by the spectacle of seeing President Obama everywhere all the time. Whether he was picking up his Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo or twice visiting Copenhagen, bowing to a Saudi Arabian prince or the emperor of Japan, the Great Leader could have been seen everywhere from Cairo to the Great Wall of China. The only wall he missed was the anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall.

I am not merely paranoid about the White House. I have growing fears about the trial of Khalid Sheikh Muhammad, the mastermind of 9/11. Extending the Bill of Rights to this admitted terrorist barely blocks from Ground Zero makes me wonder how many of his colleagues are planning another attack on New York as a further demonstration of their hatred. Giving him a civilian trial for an act of war strikes me as a deliberate attack on the U.S. Constitution.

I keep wondering, too, how many others are out there like the Fort Hood murderer, American born Major Nidal Malik Hasan who experienced Sudden Jihad Syndrome, gunning down twelve of his fellow soldiers, wounding 31 others. We have since learned that a group of five born-in-America Muslim lads made their way to Pakistan to join al-Qaeda in order to learn the arts of terror. As they say, not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslim.

I may be paranoid, but I keep thinking that, one of these days, China is going to inform the U.S. Treasury that it no longer wants to purchase its securities and, of course, every other nation will follow suit. I stopped loaning money to deadbeats long ago.

I am so nuts these days that, in the event U.S. courts find that Barrack Hussein Obama is not eligible to be President, Joe Biden is beginning to look good to me. I worry, though, that his health might falter and we would end up with President Pelosi.

Frankly, we have been very lucky that the U.S. has been spared any category five hurricanes like Katrina and, in fact, not one single named hurricane even showed up in 2009. That kind of luck never lasts and what are the prospects that the same folks who gave us the non-stimulating Stimulus Bill and Cash for Clunkers would be in charge when a natural disaster strikes?

I worry, too, that there are no more Democrat Senators and Representatives left to bribe with our money and that the Healthcare “reform” that almost nobody wants will become law.

You’d have to be crazy not to worry that Iran is just months, weeks or days away from developing its own nuclear warhead to put on top of those nifty missiles it has been showing off of late. You have to wonder, between seizing foreign nationals to hold hostage and putting down protests from their own people, how they find the time.

There is one bright spot on the radar for 2010 and it’s the November midterm elections. Being paranoid, however, I worry that there will be Tea Party candidates who will drain votes from Republicans, thus leaving the present Congress in charge all the way through to 2012.

I worry that, by then, the Democrats will have figured out how to anoint Barrack Hussein Obama President-For-Life and to suspend the Constitution.