Friday, January 1, 2010

New Rules for Air Travel

By Alan Caruba

The simple fact of the matter is that the only reason the Christmas Delta flight was not blown out of the sky with a powerful explosive was that the detonator didn’t work. Does it strike anyone as ironic that, according to government officials, the “answer” to airline safety is more and better technology?

El Al, the Israeli airline has never had a terrorist incident and that is because they actually profile the heck out of everyone who wants to fly with them. Blond, blue-eyed, Scandinavian? They want to know why you’re going to a particular destination, how long you intend to be there? Do you have family or friends there? And you had better have all your visas and passports in proper order. You may be a member of the Master Race, but you better have some damned good answers.

In America, it’s now routine for passenger to have to show up a day in advance, sleep on the terminal floor, take off your shoes and all the rest of your clothes, submit to an anal cavity search, and not bring anything as dangerous as a nail-clipper with you. No liquids unless they are less than three ounces and in a zip-closed plastic bag. None of this makes anyone the slightest bit safer except the morons at the TSA that came up with these rules.

There are now new rules such as not being able to take a leak for an hour before the plane lands, no pillows, no blankets, and nothing that even vaguely resembles comfort in airline seats that have been reduced in size to the equivalent of straight-jackets. Looking out the window will be considered suspicious activity.

Here’s what’s NOT suspicious:

Having “Muhammad” as part of your name such as Muhammad Abdul Muhammad.
Being Muslim.
Having no passport.
Being Muslim.
Paying for a one-way ticket with cash.
Being Muslim.
Not having any baggage.
Being Muslim.
Spreading a prayer rug in the waiting lounge, facing Mecca, and loudly praying.
Being Muslim.
Being Arab.
Being Muslim.
Being African.
Being Muslim.

And, finally,
Being Muslim!

Here’s my suggestion for a really good new rule: The United States Department of State should simply not issue visas to young, Arab or African Muslims for any reason. If you’re young and sporting a raggedy beard, you may not get a visa either. If you’re young, female, and are wearing a burka or comparable Muslim attire, you don’t get a visa.

I don’t care if they want to study anything at a U.S. college or university. There are lots of other places to study anything. I don’t care if they want to visit Disneyland. I don’t care if they want to become a rock’n roll star. If they want to be in the movies, let them go to Bollywood, not Hollywood.

This is the same State Department whom the father of the latest bomber warned weeks ago. When your daddy says you’re a jihadist that should be proof enough. At the U.S. Embassy in Nigeria they are still looking up the word “jihadist” because it is not in the handbook, “How to Spot a Freaking Terrorist!” Oops, sorry, I forgot that according to the present administration there is no “war on global terrorism” and the term “terrorist” cannot be spoken.

I find it quite strange that Americans think there is something wrong with being especially careful about letting anyone Arab, African, and Muslim on any flight to, within, and from the United States.

I find it even stranger that some Americans still are unable to figure out that there are people who are at WAR with them and live for the privilege of dying, becoming a martyr, and having 72 virgins in paradise for the honor of killing as many Americans as possible.

These people are called MUSLIMS.

Some of them even live in America and, frankly, I don’t want them getting on a plane here either.

When imams anywhere around the world tell them every Friday that the only reason they have for living is to die while killing infidels, some reasonable degree of caution is called for.

Note: For those who are offended by this indictment of Muslims, I fully understand that there are many decent Muslims in America and throughout the world. The point of this exercise is to demonstrate how incompetent and idiotic our government has become in protecting us against the bad ones.


Guy said...

And to the decent, non-violent Muslims out there who are disturbed or offended by your comments, I say this:

Get of your asses and start helping us identify and apprehend the evil ones. Your lack of action is, in itself, a sign of complicity in this war. How many supposedly "passive" Muslims are we going to have to sit back and watch become "radicalized" Muslims before we reach the conclusion that there are only two kinds of Muslims ... violent, enemy combatant Muslims, and Muslims who are about to become violent enemy combatant Muslims? I find it very difficult to believe that the radicalized and violent among your ranks are keeping their views a secret. It's time to choose which side you're really on, and take action to help us win this war. Otherwise, we have no choice but to assume you're on the wrong side....

It's unfortunate that it has to be this way, but war is hell, and if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck .... it had better duck!

TexasFred said...

I see a recurring theme in this post, being Muslim I think?

You did it again! Home run!

Alan Caruba said...

Very observant of you, Fred!

PS. This is the kind of "humor" piece that always comes back to bite me because someone will surely take offense.

I take offense with the folks trying to kill us!

Sailingbum said...

Home run indeed!!

What I would like to see is the "Muslim community", or any other "community" that has a disgusting, degenerate element; start to "clean their own house". Something like an effective anti-CAIR or an
anti-Al Sharpton group. Then we can start talking about treating the "community" with respect.

Ol James said...

I have a solution for those TERRORIST,( yes I sed TERRORIST). I'm Fat-White-Baptist-Son of The South-Hardworking-huntin & fishin-garden raisin-gun&knife totin-deep fat fryin-BAMA Lovin-REDNEK and PROUD it!! PC?, not me.
Let "Da Prez"," Vice Prez" and Da "Speaker ov Da Hous", go pick up these scum and fly them where they want to go. Solves two problems. Don't have to worry about endangering the public. And, they can put their money where their mouth is.
Like I have heard and read before,.."Not all Muslims are Terrorist, but, ALL TERRORIST ARE Muslim."
Congrats Mr. Alan on a GREAT article!! The write up in the left coast paper was also good. I know that folks like yourself will help to keep US aware of the problems that arise around US all in 2010.

Alan Caruba said...

Ol James, the President spent a lot of time this past year TALKING to his Muslim brethren about peace and love. He hasn't figured out yet that the Islamists among them what to kill him, you, me and as many other Americans as possible.

Karl said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sir Shrek said...

Great article! Having read the Koran, at least the part that requires the faithful to kill all apostates, and infidels, I wonder how you can be a Muslim, and not follow the sacred words of the great prophet, Mohammed. Sounds like blasphemy to me.