The "L" Word

By Alan Caruba

It’s a very curious phenomenon, but I have been aware of it for quite a while. It is when a liberal insists that they are actually a conservative.

I have any number of friends and relatives who are pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, favor amnesty for illegal aliens and opening the borders to more immigration. They tend to think President Obama walks on water and they often vehemently insist that they are conservatives.

I can remember when the very word “liberal” was turned into a label that people wanted to shun. It became the “L” word and, soon enough, we had no liberals among us, but lots of “progressives.”

The Republican Party is said to be in shambles, unable to elect a candidate even to a safe seat in New York State, but contrast that with folks in Minnesota who have elected a former comedian and failed liberal radio host, Al Franken, to be a United States Senator. Barring a court reversal, we shall all be saying “Senator Franken” as if this worst of all jokes makes any sense.

Democrats are now the proud owners of a three trillion dollar budget in a time of economic distress when by any rule of common sense the government should be looking to spend less, borrow less, cut taxes, and restore the value of the U.S. dollar.

Regarding the budget, Ronald Reagan said, “The size of the federal budget is not an appropriate barometer of social conscience or charitable concern.” That, however, is exactly how liberals see it.

That’s why the Democrat-controlled Congress could send President Obama a so-called “stimulus” bill with 9,000 pet projects—earmarks—and he would sign it with the claim that, though “imperfect”, it would improve the economy.

This runs contrary to the conservative belief that allowing that money to remain in the pockets of taxpayers to pay mortgages, send kids to college, and maybe buy a new car is a better idea.

So I say to the Republican Party and fellow Stone Age conservatives—take heart!

What goes around, comes around, and what is coming around is massive unemployment such as this nation has not seen since the 1930s in the depths of the Great Depression. What’s coming is an object lesson in what happens when the government tries to run automobile companies, insurance companies, and banks.

It has been in charge of Amtrak since 1971 and has never turned a profit in all that time. Some will argue that people simply didn’t want to use mass transit, preferred to fly or drive, but I would suggest that Amtrak is the perfect example of an idea that sounded good at the time, but which ignored reality. Rail is great for moving freight, but its time for people-moving for anything other than a commuter route has passed.

Another strange liberal notion is their disdain for “the rich” and their distrust of all corporations right up to the moment they start laying off employees or are forced to close their doors thanks to bad government policies such as increasing taxes in hard times or imposing endless “environmental” and other regulations.

The liberals have spoken! Just barely over half the voters have elected a candidate who won’t release his birth certificate or any other information about himself beyond the two biographical books he has written.

They’ve elected a man whose friends come out the most corrupt political machine in the nation.

They’ve elected a man who attended a church whose pastor said “G-d damn America!”

He’s appointed the most clueless cabinet of department secretaries seen in a very long time. His Vice Presidential choice recently required a "Sixty Minutes" fawning makeover to make him look less gaffe-prone. Fortunately for him, Janet Napolitano of Homeland Security has taken over that task.

Obama cannot deliver a ten minute speech without a TelePrompter. His answers to reporters questions often wander around for twice that amount of time.

Imagine how thrilled the networks are that Obama wants a third primetime press conference in as many months!

And now we have liberals who insist that they are, in fact, conservatives. However, they have really big hearts that bleed for captured terrorists, that care for illegal aliens, and that favor unions that destroy industries. They want to take everyone's guns away in order to cut crime.

They are liberals who are convinced that “global warming” is the reason for everything from obesity to hurricanes. They neither know, nor understand climate science. It will be, however, “global warming” that the White House and Congress will use to justify the imposition of “cap and trade” legislation allegedly to reduce carbon dioxide emissions from the use of the energy the nation requires.

Liberals will applaud this vain, self-destructive, witless assertion that the United States alone can change or even bother to change the climate.

It will be the exercise of political power that will prove the undoing of liberals. It just comes down to how much pain liberals will endure before even they change their minds.

The first glimmer of reality was seen with the April 15 “Tea Parties” coast to coast. The current reality is seen in the public’s reaction to the swine flu threat roiling out of Mexico.

No matter how much spin the White House and its lapdog mainstream media put on these and other events, those in power will have it taken from them.